amanogawa | case study 003 - entry 01: haruto souma

This is some sort of therapy, right? I guess I don't have any choice but to give it a shot.

I'm a little disappointed that my icons didn't save to better ones of me, but I don't want to have to delete them and get new ones in. There's no point to doing it right now, but I have to admit I miss having the option of one hundred to choose from.

I also miss being in a game and interacting with people, saving them and helping them, but it's too stressful and too much trouble to balance that with everything else going on. There are always problems. If all else fails, I guess we could always start our own in some way. Pick a unique setting and run with it, but that would have been more interesting if we had known more people. Now, we're pretty limited in our options and it would feel too strange to ask a lot of people we don't know that well to play with us.

I suppose that's how it works. Maybe we don't really need anyone else.

I guess I get to go out next week. I don't feel very confident about my appearance, but I suppose I shouldn't worry too much. I just don't know how to handle the idea of being around people again, or even to start with. I've never had my own group. There was one time I sort of had Shunpei around, but he never spoke to me. I have Koyomi with me in spirit and I would never ask for anyone to replace her, but she can't be by my side.

So... What should I do about Nitou? We've been close a few times and I've let myself trust him a little. I know he wants me to relax and trust him. He wants me to open up and stop shouldering everything myself. I'm trying, but I've never let myself do anything like that before. I'm not sure what to do about it. Maybe I should just let him tell me what to do when it comes to stuff like that.

Maybe I should ask him if he wants to spend time together next week.